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Trump Is Trying to Get America to Break Up with Him | The Daily Show

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The Trump administration has been saying for weeks that there was no form of quid pro quo with Ukraine And then today, Mulvaney said that there was, but people should get over it

Which is really confusing What is the strategy? Well, here to break it all down in this whole impeachment scandal is our very own DulcĂ© Sloan, everybody! -(cheering, applause) -Hello -Ah -Okay this is so confusing Trump's chief of staff basically admitted to a quid pro quo How is this helping them? It doesn't– but that's the point This is what happens when you're dealing with trash-ass dudes -and their trash-ass friends

-(laughter) I've been through this before, so let me break it down Trump doesn't want to be president, but he doesn't want to quit, either, 'cause that would make him look bad So he's out here trying to get dumped It's what I call "pulling a Marvin" I'm-I'm sorry, "pulling a Marvin"? Is that a psychological term? No

Marvin is this dude I've been dating who wants to get out of our relationship but he's trying to get me to break up with him That's who Marvin is, and Trump's just like him

Okay, wait, wait, hold up, hold up You think Trump wants Americans to kick him out of the White House? It's obvious! He said America's just as bad as Russia He shows us the phone calls he made to Ukraine Then his boy came to the podium and said he's got quid pro quos in different area codes (laughter) (applause, cheering) He's just like Marvin

(laughter) Not even trying to hide it Marvin butt-dialed me from the strip club (laughter) –

with someone else's butt -(laughter) If that's not asking to get your ass dropped, -I don't know what is -Okay, wait

Well, that means this is a good thing If Trump wants out, then America just should impeach him, and then everyone gets what they want Oh, hell, no Uh-uh Impeach him? So America is the bad guy? Nah

Then he gets what he wants We can't let Marvin win– I mean Trump -(laughter) -We Excuse me We can't let Trump win America has to do to Trump what I did to Marvin– make his life a living hell! Uh-huh (cheering, whooping, applause) I told his boss he goes to work drunk I poked holes in his water bed

And best of all, I showed up at the strip club he was at and yelled, "That nigga's broke! No more dances for Marvin!" -(laughter, applause) -Wow! Wow So so that's how you got Marvin to break up with you? Oh, no, we didn't break up

(laughter) We're both too stubborn I'm marrying that piece of shit this weekend (laughter) You hear that, Marvin? You better break up with me, or I'm taking this shit to the grave! Uh, congratulations, I guess Dulcé Sloan, everybody

Source: Youtube

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