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Reading Eclipse AND Breaking Dawn in TWO DAYS?! Critical Analysis Reading Vlog *Spoilers* [CC]


Good morning, hi guys, welcome back to Beautifully Bookish Bethany where I have new videos every week about books and the geeky mom lifestyle In today's video I am starting a weekend reading vlog with the goal of finishing Eclipse and Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer in one weekend

So can I do it? Let's find out So if you've been following along you probably know I have been reading rereading I don't know 12 something years later the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer and vlogging it, so if you haven't seen those vlogs I will link up above the Twilight one and the New Moon one Breaking Dawn was always my least favorite, I didn't like it the first time, not super looking forward to reading it the second time around So I was like you know what, let's just see if we can knock out both these books in a weekend So that's we're gonna attempt to do

I'm about to get up make breakfast and I have the audio book for Eclipse downloaded from my library Also have the physical book I'm probably gonna be flipping back and forth so I can like do other stuff during the weekend I will check back in with you guys once I have started, wish me luck I've read the first two chapters so far and have been tabbing things and I feel like mostly I'm just really really frustrated with Edward

He is so controlling, which is interesting because like I know now when I read books, this is one of the most frustrating things for me in romances Is when you have this alpha male who's hyper controlling who wants to control what the heroine is going to do with her life Yeah it's it's very very not okay, and I feel like even more so than earlier books, and so reading this is incredibly frustrating, but on top of that Bella is super annoying So let's look at some of the things I have tabbed Guys I'm only two chapters in and I'm so mad I like I hate

I'm so mad about stuff Okay starting the book she's grounded, Charlie is understandably not happy with Edward being around all the time, doesn't like him, which is like not shocking On page 11 we talk about her school friends and it's now us versus them and like anybody who doesn't support her and Edward is clearly evil, sure

Then her dad wants her to go spend time with Jacob which she can't do because the Cullens don't want her with the wolves because they can't control things and protect her and this becomes a repeated conflict And her dad says" but you were always so happy after spending the day with Jake And I'm like, yeah you were! fFunny how that works Are you happy with Edward? No doesn't seem like it at all Okay then on page 18 she sees Edward

He smells her wrist and it's "enjoying the bouquet without tasting the wine" There's a lot of this too of this weird like sexual tension of like, oh I'm gonna like get close to things but then no Bella, you you need to stay away You're so funny you and your like lack of control There's so many things uncomfortable and wrong with the relationship with Edward I, it's it's making me very frustrated Then page 23 they're filling out college applications and Edward is pressuring her into applying to Ivy League schools

When he gets her to partially fill out an application for Dartmouth she gets pissed off, decides she's gonna get rid of it, but he instead takes the papers and puts them in his jacket "what are you doing?'" I demanded "I sign your name better than you do yourself You've already written essays" so he's like literally going to apply to a school for her and sign her name to the application, yeah okay But then what's interesting is in the last book they were talking all about Romeo and Juliet, in this book at the beginning of the book she's reading Wuthering Heights and she gets into a conversation with Edward about Wuthering Heights and he doesn't understand why she likes it because they're horrible people and then she says "I think that may be the point Their love is their only redeeming quality" And I'm like, you guys must be talking about yourselves! But it's not a redeeming quality because it's not really love it's just like a toxic relationship

I'm sorry guys like I just, this is so frustrating Okay and on page 30 they're talking about Jacob She wants to go see Jacob Edward is like, no you can't do that and he says "werewolves are unstable Sometimes the people near them get hurt, sometimes they get killed" And then they reference Emily Young and we've already talked about the problems with her as a Native woman, having been scarred from her now fiance and the fact that that's just totally glossed over, especially when Native communities have such high rates of domestic violence, and that just seems really harmful

But again we're, they're getting into this thing of like "werewolves are unstable, people around them get hurt" Are you talking about werewolves or you like talking about in Native American communities? Because that's also really hurtful I'm sure we're gonna get more of that because I know we're gonna see Jacob again in this book eventually Speaking of just like kind of gross slurs, on page 33 Edward's still pissed off that she wants to go see Jacob because he's like depressed and she's worried about him and they're friends And he's like "if I had never left you wouldn't feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog

" Both of them use derogatory terms about each other: she mentions that Jacob uses bloodsucker, leech, and parasite but like it's just gross like the whole thing feels gross to me Sorry I'm like way more frustrated with this than I thought I was gonna be, I didn't think it was gonna be so bad so quickly Page 44 we've got another thing of them like kissing and she's like "I know I only have three seconds before he's gonna stop me" and she's right And he's like "ah Bella I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not, and I should feel sorry that you're not sorry but I don't

Maybe I should go sit on the bed" So again we've got this like weird relationship with sexuality The things keep happening: he wants her to use the plane tickets that she had gotten the year before for her birthday to go visit her mom and he wants to go with her and she says no, I don't want to do that, I don't want to fight with Charlie my dad, like we're not gonna do this So what does Edward do? He purposefully brings them up in front of Charlie because he knows she's gonna get pissed off when he gets mad and says no, so that he can manipulate her into going to visit her mom Um it's just like thing after thing after thing, and this is in the first two chapters

It's so frustrating "Does the sudden urge to see Florida have anything to do with the party at Billy's place? Nothing at all" he's clearly lying, he's trying to force her for whatever reason, maybe because she wanted to go see Jacob at this party at the weekend It's like, instead I'm gonna manipulate you into being out of town And then kind of last thing that happens in the first two chapters is late at night, she finally decides: you know what I'm just gonna go see Jake

So she gets out there, tries to turn on her truck and it won't start because he has literally taken something out of her truck so that she can't drive to go see Jacob, because they're worried about her safety But like the level of abuse and control and manipulation that we're seeing from Edward in this book is like horrifying, and reading this I'm like, why are you with him?! Why? I see no reason ,this is not okay, this is not healthy Anyway I have a lot of feelings on this This is gonna be such a long vlog guys uh we're two chapters into Eclipse

Hey guys so I've done a little more reading, I'm gonna take a break I'm drinking some coffee, about to do my makeup I thought I would check in with you guys This is where I am at, so I've read the first five chapters Things to talk about, yeah I really really hate Edward at this point

I like the controlling behavior, I just have so little patience for him There's a couple pages covering them going to visit her mom and her mom is basically like "oh you guys are much more serious than I realized

When he moves even a little bit you adjust your position at the same time, like magnets or gravity You're like a satellite or something I've never seen anything like it" So clearly they have this sort of enmeshed relationship Jacob shows up at her school wanting to make sure she's okay and also wanting to talk to Edward about stuff, and the description of him again is playing into, if you saw the live show where Autumn talks a little bit about the problematic depiction of Native American characters in here, this is also playing into a lot of those issues

They talk about the classmates basically looking at him as if he's scary because he's so tall, muscled-up They say "taking in his shirt, his ragged, grease smeared jeans and the glossy black bike he leaned against" Like it's it's very much this sort of animalistic, muscled ragged kind of look which is particularly I think more of a problem when it's put in juxtaposition to the Cullens Then they have a conversation and it turns out that Edward has been keeping from Bella the fact that the reason he wanted to get her to Florida the weekend before was actually because Victoria was back and he lied and didn't tell her the truth So he's like keeping stuff from her and so Edward calls Jacob a mongrel and Jacob says "You don't think Bella has a right to know? It's her life

" And Edwards like "why should she be frightened when she was never in danger?" "Better frightened than lied to" Which I'm like yeah, Jacobs not wrong I don't understand, like why the appeal of Edward And then of course the principal comes out and sees Jacob, scrutinizes him and comes to the same conclusion, a troublemaker So you know clearly a Native boy who's tall and muscled is gonna be a troublemaker, great

So Edward goes out of town to hunt, Alice is watching her to try to keep her away from the werewolves, but she manages to make kind of a snap decision to go and visit Jacob finally And like the difference in tone when she gets there and meets with Jacob is so stark to me There's more joy I mean things end up getting complicated, they have some tough conversations but like there's so much more joy with her then there ever is with Edward, and I just struggle to understand why why why why Edward? I just I don't get it Then she does get into an argument with Jacob

He's like I don't understand, like why are you with him? And she says this thing that I'm like, wait a minute, really?! Have a question mark on my tab here It's like on page it's on page 110 and she says "I love him not because he's beautiful or because he's rich I'd much rather he weren't either one it would even out the gap between us a little bit, because he'd still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I've ever met Of course I love him How hard is that to understand?" So let's unpack this for a minute

The most loving, unselfish, brilliant, decent person you've ever met That is patently not true I mean maybe he's smart but loving and unselfish? No, he's controlling and toxic

I'm like I'm sorry what was your reason for saying you love him again? Because that's just not true Okay then we get into the stuff that just kind of pisses me off and I had forgotten that we got all of this backstory I mentioned earlier the problems with Emily and the domestic violence thing, so Jacob tells her about the backstory of Sam and Emily and some things that I had actually forgotten, which makes the whole thing much more messed up And all of this is leading up to imprinting, and we all know how messy this imprinting idea ends up becoming with Renesmee in Breaking Dawn Oh my gosh it's just, there's so many problems with this as a concept, and again it's playing into this more sort of animalistic thing

And I get that there's like a fated mate thing that sometimes happens in books but I this just in this particular case especially and especially in a YA novel it feels really icky to me the way this is being handled, and the fact that it's only the Native werewolves that have this happen to them I don't know there's a lot that's really problematic to me about this

So the thing that I forgotten is that Leah and Sam were actually highschool sweethearts and loved each other, and Sam had to be promises to her And then Leah's cousin who she was really close to came down to visit for the weekend and Sam saw her and imprinted on her, and it was like Leah didn't even matter anymore That is so messed up and harmful, an excuse for cheating basically Emily initially kind of didn't want anything to do with it because Leah was really close to her and she was heartbroken over this So here's what happened: the way they finally resolved things was when Sam hurt her, so when he got angry and was violent and scarred her face, that was how they resolved things

"Sam was so horrified and sickened by himself, so full of hate for what he'd done, he would have thrown himself under a bus if it would have made her feel better He might have anyway just to escape what he'd done He was shattered Then somehow she was the one comforting him" wait a minute so you're telling me that there was an act of violence, of domestic violence where the victim ends up being the one doing the comforting and that somehow makes the relationship more loving and closer?! I'm sorry but no, that's that's like in no way okay So that's where we're at Yeah I don't know what else say, ah but I am you know getting through it quickly So I think we can do this

All right I will check in again with you guys later, I'm gonna do my makeup, take a little break watch some YouTube videos, and then continue reading Hey guys so I came outside to take a few pictures for Instagram I am continuing to read and listening to the audiobook for a while I'm gonna go grab some donuts, do a couple of errands Edward just keeps pissing me off more and more: literally sending his sister to kidnap and babysit her for the weekend when he's gone

Like the amount of controlling behavior is creepy honestly I don't understand how this is supposed to be romantic, and then she does say something like "don't you think this is just slightly controlling?" And Alice is like, oh well he's just worried about you! You shouldn't be so reckless And yeah like I'm finding it super disturbing, like honestly it's really creeping me out Okay so I'm gonna keep listening to this and I will touch base with you guys a little bit later Oh my goodness, okay quick update because I don't have the physical book with me so I can't tab things

Number one Rosalie's kind of a badass, I really like her I like the story she told about like becoming a vampire and taking revenge on all the guys who hurt her Why can't we get Rosalie's story? Because she would be such a much more interesting protagonist than Bella honestly And then we get the first instance of somebody imprinting on a child and it's super creepy and she tries to explain it away but it's still super creepy Quil imprints on a two-year-old and like there's nothing that really makes that okay, it's just creepy So yeah

Hey guys, so I am about halfway done with Eclipse as I expected it is going pretty quickly, it's like a little after 1:00 o'clock in the afternoon so I definitely am NOT gonna have a problem finishing this today I'm getting a little antsy so I'm probably gonna go out again and listen to the audiobook so I do have tabs that I want to talk about but in general I'll just say I'm not loving this and it's definitely longer than it needs to be, like it is a little bit of a drag to get through it like it's so long and it's not like there's not much actually happening so it feels very unnecessary

all right so let's like go to where I have tabs because I've read quite a bit first thing we have is Edward finally decides to start letting her go to the reservation again, and I think the idea is it's supposed to look like he's suddenly being really reasonable cuz he says "I'm sorry, I was wrong It's so much easier to have proper perspective when I have you safely here I go a little berserk when I try to leave you I don't think I'll go so far again, it's not worth it

" so he basically says kind of he's sorry for having Alice hold her hostage even though she found a way to get away and go spend time with Jacob, and she expected him to be angry with her and he wasn't The thing is though I suspect that the reason is that he was scared of losing her, and it seems from a couple of like comments that he makes that he's nervous that Jacob might end up imprinting on Bella and so I think a lot of him finally doing this is him realizing, oh maybe I'm gonna lose her if I'm too controlling so I don't think I'm really gonna give him a whole lot of props for it And then he has like all these conditions, okay but if you're gonna do this you have to follow these rules I'm like okay who are you? Her parents? Meanwhile Jacob's like "I saw this story on the news last week about controlling abusive teenage relationships

" and she's like okay okay and I don't want to hear it so I think this is the thing: is clearly it is an abusive controlling teenage relationship, and it feels like the author thinks that referencing it or referencing it as a possibility makes it not actually true Because Edward is like getting a little better but I don't think that's actually the case I don't know guys it's just it's such a mess, like I don't like Edward and all of this it's super frustrating So she goes to this bonfire thing on the reservation that turns out to be a council meeting, which in and of itself is a little weird

Like the council meeting is telling stories around a bonfire, which I think based on things that I've seen it's not actually what a Quileute council meeting would be like ,and the fact that they had her there was a little strange, although maybe they think that telling the stories of the cold ones and whatever will make her more wary? I don't really know Like the whole setup here is problematic, on top of the fact that it's cultural appropriation We're going to talk a little bit about that, but the first thing that happens is she meets a girl named Kim who is one of the people who had been imprinted on Not the child, which guys, like we could talk about that, that one of the people imprinted on a one-year-old and they try to make that seem okay because like, oh he'll just, he just wants to protect her! And you know when she's young he'll be like a babysitter and then when she's older he'll be like a friend and then one day when she's old enough they'll have a romantic relationship, and he just has to wait for a couple of decades, but that's like super creepy and feels like grooming and predatory and yeah, not okay So there's that, but on page 242 she meets Kim and she says my "first impression of Kim was that she was a nice girl

A little shy and a little plain She had a wide face, mostly cheekbones, with eyes too small to balance them out Her nose and mouth were both too broad for traditional beauty" so clearly in her perspective traditional beauty is white beauty, because you know if you're if you want like a thin nose and a not too broad mouth, that's what you're talking about So it's like these little, again little instances of white supremacy and racism that are like bleeding into stuff And yeah Bella, after a while of watching Jared watch Kim realizes what he sees in her and it's like "oh she's not plain! Look at her skin and her lips and her teeth" and like, oh I see that she's now beautiful But regardless even the whole thing of like beauty is in the eye of the beholder type thing and that you have to like get to know her or like see her for longer to see her beauty because she's not white and doesn't have white forms of beauty is definitely a problem

Okay so then we get this whole chunk where there is appropriation of cultural legends of the Qileute people It's not even just using existing legends, it's changing existing legends and then also erasing them by telling just new sort of made-up things, and so the level of appropriation here is kind of problematic Not to mention the fact that in the legends that are being told, the role of women is much more kind of subservient So like on page 245 all of the spirit warriors are men and the women watch over the bodies of the men while they go and do their fighting Then we have sort of the inciting incident with the cold ones who turn out to be the vampires, being the disappearance of two maidens from a neighboring tribe, and so again it's like protecting the purity of women and ignoring the reality in this tribal culture of what the role of women actually is

It's just kind of throwing on her own ideas about gender dynamics Then near the end of the story there's this thing about the third wife who saves everybody by sacrificing herself, killing herself, so that she can distract the vampire long enough to let the men rush in and sort of save the day, and like this this seems to be a problematic theme as well if you're talking about Native heroines, that the one woman who is kind of a hero in the story can only be a hero by killing herself and being a distraction, whereas the other ones can actually fight and do something And so there's just a lot of problems woven into this and especially in light of the fact that these are all Native Americans that are being talked about yeah and I'm sure I'm missing things but but that all just strikes me as a problem Then one other thing is on page 256 we get the description of this female cold one, the first female one that they ever see, and it's just it's it's in poor taste, it's kind of gross

So says "she's the most beautiful thing human eyes have ever seen She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning, the sun shining for once and it glittered on her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face Some fell to their knees to worship her" So again it's this like romanticization of white colonizing forces um on Native American tribes and yes of course, this beautiful vampire ends up turning around and killing a bunch of Native Americans, so maybe Stephenie Meyer was trying to have some kind of commentary here? The white people came and the Natives thought they were so beautiful and worshiped them like gods, but it ended up being really bad for them because they got killed? /but number one I don't think that's actually how things went down in general, and number two like it's a really really bad take

This book is guys this book I'm definitely having the most negative emotions so far

It might be worse in Breaking Dawn but so far I'm definitely having the most negative emotions with this book, as, from the other books in the series Then on page 266 we got another reference to Wuthering Heights and Heathcliff where, while she was sleeping Edward had been reading and it falls open to this page where Heathcliff is basically saying like" I would never raise my hand against him because you care for him, but I wish I could tear his throat out and drink his blood if you were no longer here" And clearly like he and he had made some comment about like oh Heathcliff may be more relatable than I thought So it's like clearly this is how he feels about Jacob Which yeah, just the jealousy, the controlling behavior I'm not here for it Then on page 276 we get another conversation about this marriage thing because he wants to push her into marrying him if she wants him to be the one to turn her into a vampire, and the manipulation is real He tries to explain his side of the argument and I don't think it's like a very effective argument in the first place, or as Bella says like "do you realize what century this is? People don't just get married at 18

Not smart people Not responsible, mature people I wasn't gonna be that girl That's not who I am" Clearly marriage is not what she wants and she's like look, for me eternity and marriage are not like mutually exclusive or interdependent, we can be together and not be married, but he just kind of doesn't want to hear that and we all know who wins this fight, as in every fight it seems because what? He's the most selfless person she's ever known? Was that what she said about why she loves him? Sure okay

Okay so I think one of the last things that I read is we finally get some backstory on Jasper Man and is it a choice, which I had forgotten about this until I think in our last live show somebody mentioned this Jasper was a Confederate soldier before he became a vampire, which that alone, the fact that that is never addressed in a direct way His role as a Confederate soldier is romanticized as like being this great commander and saving women and children from attacking forces, and it never once mentions the issue of slavery or what they're fighting about So like that's a problem

We've got serious romanticization of that, there's also a suggestion that vampires in the South are less careful than vampires in the north and that maybe they can get away with feeding more on populations, and you have to wonder if the reason for that is there being a lot of racism against Black people in the south and that the reason that vampires can maybe get away with that, even though it's not said on the page, is because of racism So then we have the person who turns him into a vampire, and when he first sees her he knows that she's Mexican So we have one of the few people of color but shockingly she the villain, because all the people of color are villains, except for the werewolves who are either romanticized or like viewed in wrong ways So a yeah anyway um page 293 he's marveling at these beautiful women with pale skin that he sees, this is Jasper recalling before he became a vampire, "even the little black haired girl whose features were clearly Mexican was porcelain in the moonlight" Okay so again we have this connection of porcelain skin, porcelain looks with beauty

Even the girl with Mexican features could be so beautiful because of her white skin in the moonlight because she's a vampire! And then she turns out to be sort of this villain who's raising this army of vampire babies and then killing them off, and basically has no feelings about it She doesn't feel bad about it and Jasper of course does, and so the fact that you have this Mexican girl vampire who has no feeling or emotion or compassion up against Jasper who was this Confederate soldier and despite doing all of these really really horrible things, because he has this emotional sympathy with people ends up feeling bad about it and ends up eventually going to meet Alice and ending up with the Cullens and changing his lifestyle So that is where we are at, I kind of hate this, it's horrible and I didn't realizes that it was, this is the worst of any of the books so far and I'm on page 310, so I'm almost exactly halfway through the book I'm probably gonna read another large chunk and then I will be back to share Hello I finished the book! Yes so I haven't checked in with you guys since the halfway point but I'm done

It is almost 6:30 pm so I'm very happy I finished this all in a day I am gonna start Breaking Dawn tonight as well but first *sigh* let's talk about Eclipse okay

There's a lot guys, it's a lot Okay let's let's start, let's start at the beginning, where did we leave off? Alright okay so the first lovely thing we have page 330 is Jacob having kind of a rapey scene, not actual rape but basically forcibly kisses Bella even when she says no and doesn't stop and then doesn't seem remorseful about it, at least at the beginning And in fact kind of doubles down and this is kind of a disturbing scene to read honestly And then he kind of lately is like "you're gonna be thinking about it tonight You were into it too

" and yeah definitely not consent here Definitely a problematic scene I, I will say this: you know and we do have another problematic thing that comes up from Jacob as well My feeling on this though is that it's a scene that is supposed to villainize Jacob on some level to make it clear that Edward is now the person we should be rooting for, because he's finally changed his ways And that feels a little bit gross to me, of kind of putting this Native boy as a sort of sexual predator who can't tell the difference between consent and lack of consent, and kind of the stereotypes that that is playing into

So that just feels kind of gross to me from an authorial perspective In terms of him as a character, this is not in any way okay On the other hand, at least for me, I do feel like the pattern of abusive and controlling behavior from Edward is like far worse I mean this is how I feel about it I don't know they're both bad

Basically at this point in the book I'm like, you all suck, can we just go go listen to Alice and Rosalie and forget this? Moving on *sigh* man and then, oh and then this is kind of gross to I, because this all comes out in front of her dad on page 363 she tells him that she broke her hand because she punched Jacob, understandably So after the fact broke her hand in the process cuz he's a werewolf so he's like super hard bones or whatever, and her dad initially is sort of like, ah good for him, kind of shooting his shot type thing, and then eventually is like, no but really I should teach you how to punch because you shouldn't be kissed if you don't want to be But don't be too hard on him he's young Obviously this is not how we would want our dads to respond and especially now this is not how they would respond

I think for sure part of this as being a product of its time I know when this came out we weren't talking about consent in the same ways and especially for something that was kissing and wasn't actually rape, you know this is not good but certainly not shocking given kind of when it came out Yeah that said it doesn't, it doesn't sit great And on the one hand is Jacob young? Yes, he is young And I think that's part of why for me I'm like, okay he does eventually apologize, it's not it's not good but it feels less egregious than these repeated patterns of behavior and manipulation and abuse and controlling behavior from Edward who should damn well know better because he's like a hundred years old almost

So anyway have strong feelings about this book if you guys can't tell So then of course with Alice doing a graduation party, because Alice is always pushing to have her way to throw parties and dress Bella up, as we will see with the wedding that she is planning by the end of the book And at the graduation party Jacob comes, he does apologize He says "I really am sorry about the other day I mean – I shouldn't have kissed you like that

It was wrong I guess, well I guess I deluded myself into thinking you wanted me to" Deluded um so you know he's somewhat remorseful, maybe not adequately, but he is They kind of make up, he gives her this charm bracelet with this wolf that he carved out of wood, then I've probably talked about this on here because I had forgotten that we didn't officially know yet, but around page 417 is when we find out that Leah actually is one of the werewolves, which obviously is super awkward because she was the former sweetheart of Sam the Alpha pack And the thing with the werewolves is they all can hear each other's thoughts, which is great for coordination but kind of sucks if you are a jilted ex girlfriend

Ao yeah we all know that's gonna come up later I I kind of hate the way that Leah is talked about though, as being like a bitter shrew later on, I think Jacob talks about her at the end of the book like that, and that just sucks cuz she she definitely got the short end of the stick And like shouldn't be made she was, she was, shouldn't be made out to be the villain here Then we get more representation of the Native characters that is kind of problematic On page 418 we're hearing gossip about the pack and that includes there being one person who, come to find out, that his father must have been one of these well-respected married men So you know I not to say that this kind of stuff doesn't happen, but I feel like especially in a book like this, that is placing such a premium on virtue, especially sexual virtue, as we will see as we move forward, the fact that the Native characters have this kind of like sleeping around thing going on, cheating, it's just, it's it's it's not a good look And I think what I'm realizing is that non-white characters in this book, vampires, werewolves, whoever they are, are never portrayed entirely positively And you know there's like kind of a lot of white supremacy in here and it's kind of racist So yeah like I think on a reread

it's not always super noticeable but it's definitely there, and I mean the whole thing with Jasper Okay 443 we got this whole long conversation between Edward and Bella where she wants to have sex before she becomes a vampire

It's the one thing she wants to do as a human and Edward kind of laughs at her and he's very quick to say no, absolutely not, even though he's like: well I want you to marry me, and I want you to go to college and let me pay for it, I want you to do all of these things, but like have sex before a vampire?! No cuz I might hurt you and like absolutely not, that's ridiculous Eventually she ends up talking him into it, but like the fact that she has to basically beg her boyfriend and now eventually fiancee to give in with this is just not great, and then there's just like weird things in this whole conversation So for example on page 445- 444 to 445 there's a thing where she feels, her her feelings are hurt when he initially says no, and she's like, well don't you like? Do you not want me like this or something? And he's like "Of course I do, you silly beautiful oversensitive girl" Okay we're calling her a silly oversensitive girl Can we have more like misogynistic stereotyping of women? She has legitimate reason to be upset and it's like making light of that and making it seem silly, and I hate when that is the thing that's done to women

And he says "you're too desirable for your own good" There's so many conversations here Okay so he's like "I could kill you!" and then finally he's like "okay I'm not saying no I'm just saying not tonight" And it turns out that he's basically like, well the only thing I have left is my virtue I'm still a virgin

I've done all these things, I'm not sure I have a soul and so I, you know, I should at least follow this moral law I've killed people, I've lied about stuff, like I can at least save my virtue and yours Like like really? This this is the thing? This is the thing that we're going to set up on a pedestal? Of like we're not gonna sleep together till we, because they decide they're not gonna sleep together till we get married, and like I don't have a problem with that as a choice that you make, but like in this context it feels manipulative, and in the way that it's being written I'm just not comfortable with this Okay so he basically manipulates her into marrying him when it's clear that's not something she wants to do, but she's gonna go along with it because she wants to make other people happy Yeah He says "you know that I've stolen, I've lied, I've coveted My virtue is all I have left

" Okay Edward great On page 456 we get a little bit of window into why he really wants her to marry him, and maybe it has less to do with the traditionalist stuff as much as this is what he says: he's like "it doesn't have to be a big production

We'll go to Vegas You can wear old jeans, we'll go to the chapel I just want it to be official that you belong to me and no one else" And no one else's in italics I don't want you to belong to Jacob, only me

I want it official that you are mine, you are not anybody else's, I own you Okay um yeah like I don't think that there is anything okay or healthy about any of the stuff from Edward And I think later in the book he starts seeming more reasonable and I think he has to He's supposed to so that we can get behind this supposed fairytale romance, but there's time and time and time again that he shows that he is manipulative, he is controlling It's yeah, frustrating

Okay then we have her talking to Jacob on page 476 about the kiss that they had where he kissed her forcibly, and he's like "oh don't you think about it? No I don't I don't count that as a kiss Jacob, I think of it more as an assault" Okay as well you should, that is exactly what it was And so they have this argument and I think this is like kind of the conflict of the later part of the book: I know you love him, I finally see that, but you love me too You just can't admit it to yourself

And she's like no I'm not a freaky werewolf, I don't love more than one person at a time I don't love both of you, and then clearly like by the end of the book she admits that she does And yet regardless is gonna choose Edward because she just can't do anything else Honestly by that point, by the end of the book I'm sort of feeling like: look you know the three of you probably should be together Because we have a conversation where Edward and Jacob finally talk while they think Bella's sleeping and she can kind of overhear their conversation, and they talk things through and are very reasonable about it

And I'm like, look it's clear you both love her, she loves both of you, why do we need a creepy baby to make this work? Like why can't you just work this out? I don't know and I mean really everybody involved in this relationship has problems, there's nothing super great about it, but I'm like, if it was gonna be anything maybe that's what it should have been is just the three of them I don't know okay I'm just like kind of flipping through my different tabs This is going to be such a long vlog Okay so I don't know if I'm here yet but but one of the things that that happens that Jacob does again that's kind of shitty, after the conversation he has with Edward where they've kind of come to some kind of an understanding between each other, but have also agreed that they're still gonna like do whatever they can to fight for Bella, up on the mountain while they're like hiding from vampires that are coming to attack them and whatever Cuz there's that whole subplot going on to, but really this is about the relationships

Like what the book is really about is the relationships, so they're up on the mountain and after Edward has left, Jacob does this whole thing where he basically tells Bella "look I'm gonna go into this fight intending to get myself killed if you don't ask me to kiss you" He basically says like, look I can't live like this I'm, I'm just gonna go kind of like get myself into this fight and and go out in a blaze of glory and get myself killed because you don't love me and you don't want to kiss me If you really loved me you would you would ask me to kiss you Because there's a whole thing where Edward was like, if you kiss her again without her asking I'm gonna like tear your face off basically, so she feels bad and asks him to kiss her And at the beginning again, consent of the kiss, it's it's really uncomfortable

Like he kind of pushes her into it even though it's not something she wants, but he like pushes her into actually kissing him And then she does and she gets into it, and then I think by the end of it, it makes her, forces her to confront the fact that she does in fact also love Jacob That's basically what happens I'm like okay, you know what Edward ends up not being mad about it cuz he's like, I understand I know I know you love him too, but you love me more

Which, which is basically this book I mean like which is just disappointing, because like Edward is not all that Like he's really not and Jacob, Jacob kinda sucks as well to be honest So she's like, "Jacob was right He'd been right all along

He was more than just my friend, that's why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye, because I was in love with him too I loved him much more than I should, and yet still nowhere near enough I was in love with him, but it was not enough to change anything It was only enough to hurt us both more, to hurt him worse than I ever had" That is a bummer

This is why I'm like, maybe all three could just figure something out? But that is clearly not the direction we're gonna go So Edward is like very kind and understanding for the first time in his life about all of this, and then eventually the whole battle happens, which like no one really cares I didn't care so much about the battle Victoria has made this army of young vampires and they all come after them, but of course the werewolves and the vampires finally team up to kill them and save Bella and everything's fine But Jacob gets hurt, but then he's fine, and he has a conversation with Bella and so he

they finally talk about it and she's like "you were right but I still love him more" Basically are you sure this was really what you wanted to do? Like is this only gonna hurt you more? And he's like "he's like a drug for you Bella I see that you can't live without him now

It's too late, but I would have been healthier for you Not a drug, I would have been the air, the sun And this is exactly what I was saying in my last vlog Obviously in this book Jacob has shown himself to have some other issues, but this is exactly what I was saying in my last vlog is that Jacob would have been so much better for her And I think she admits that at the end, I think she admits at the end of this book that in another world if Edward didn't exist they could would have been another kind of soulmates and have been good together and had children together and she would have been happy

But Edward does exist and so it's just not enough, and she hopes there's something like that for him And there will be but it's super creepy I, yeah I mean ultimately I think what they say is true: is that it's very clear that Jacob would have been a much healthier person for her Does he have some issues? Yes Yes but I continue not to like Edward

So that is Eclipse Initially I gave this four stars, it's definitely not that now I'm kind of wrestling between one and a half and two stars The other thing about this is it is bloated It is way too long it did not need to be that long

There were definitely parts of it that were super boring and over descriptive and I was like okay, can we like move on please? We get the point, this is unnecessary So yeah it's probably like one and a half stars It just makes me mad because I feel like there were some really great characters in this series and this had like the bones of something that could have been so amazing, but there's so many problems So yeah this is gonna be a hella long vlog, my apologies That is Eclipse

I'm going to start reading Breaking Dawn This is a beast, it was my least favorite book in this, of the series to begin with I think this is like over 700 pages? yeah so like 750 pages, a little more than 100 pages longer than Eclipse I'm gonna start this tonight, and I'm gonna finish it this weekend Guys it's happening, you're gonna get it all in one vlog

So I will check in with you guys later oh here we go Hey guys so I have been doing some reading, um getting through Breaking Dawn pretty quickly actually So I finished book one This one is divided up into books, so the first hundred and thirty-eight pages

It's really interesting, I'm actually kind of enjoying this part of the book a little bit more It's basically the wedding and honeymoon, and then Bella finding out she's pregnant is the parts that I've read so far So um I have some tabs for all that Bella complains about the wedding thing and says she doesn't really want it She ends up being pretty happy with what Alice puts together

You get a little bit more of the overprotective behavior from Edward multiple times, starting with the car that he bought her it turns out is some special car that's got like missile proof glass and like body armor to try to protect her before she gets turned into a vampire So that was just kind of funny So then on page 34 we find out for the first time about this issue of these immortal children There had been a time in vampire history where they would turn these really cute toddlers into vampires, but they couldn't be taught They were adorable and people loved them, but they could create a lot of havoc and couldn't keep the secret of vampires, and so they're now like super super illegal

Setting the stage for her having a baby when they're not sure what its gonna be like It's also gonna be super illegal So on her wedding day we got again this little thing of Bella not thinking she's very pretty Page 42 she sees Rosalie glide past and says she's "so beautiful it made me want to cry What was even the point of dressing up with Rosalie around?" um we do get a moment where Edward finally forces her to look in the mirror and she sees herself as she is, which of course is pretty, which we all knew because as much as she thinks that she's playing we all kind of knew that wasn't like really the case

So Jacob shows up surprisingly Nobody has seen him in human form basically since the end of the last book, but he shows up at the wedding and she's so happy to see him and they dance together, but then when he finds out that they're planning on having a real honeymoon okay, having sex, he freaks out He's like "Bella have you lost your mind?! I'm gonna kill Edward if he tries to do this It's gonna kill you, you can't do this, and she's like, it's none of your business And so they have a big fight and he has to leave and that's a bummer

They go on their honeymoon to a private island: Isle Esme, where it's very hot out, because he figures that that would probably be the best given everything And there's it's it's interesting, there's this whole bit which like, I think when I first read this I definitely understood because this was probably how I felt, but now in hindsight like it feeds again into the like purity mythology

Because again both of them are virgins, neither of them have slept with anybody Which you know there's nothing wrong with that exactly, it's but the way that it's being romanticized and romanticize is not even the word I'm looking for, I can't think of the right word, but basically the way it's being romanticized is, is is more of the problem

And so she has this moment where she's getting ready to walk out in a towel and says "how do people do this? Swallow all their fears and trust someone else so implicitly with every imperfection and fear they had with less than the absolute commitment Edward had given me? If it weren't Edward out there, if I didn't know in every cell of my body that he loved me as much as I loved him, unconditionally and irrevocably, and to be honest irrationally, I'd never be able to get up off this floor" Which is interesting because like on the one hand I I kind of get that, and I think that was probably how I felt at that, especially at that point in my life But at the same time, part of that is coming from growing up in this like purity culture, and I like I never know with stuff like this how much of how I felt had to do with just what I was taught Okay so it finally happens, they have sex It is closed-door, we don't see anything, it's like fade to black

And then we see the next morning and Edward is freaking out because he's like "tell me the truth, how hurt are you?" And she's like, what I'm happy? I'm good, I'm fine what are you talking about? He's like look at yourself! and she's got like bruises all over her body, so he's like horrified and like, I'm never doing this again until you're a vampire! And she's understandably like super frustrated and it's, it's just funny like, we get these like, sort of after the fact descriptions Nothing during, which it's, it's a little dumb right Like we get all this build-up and then it's like, aaanddd fade to black! Something happened to, closed door, but we're not gonna talk about like what it actually is Just somehow magically worked

Like okay, sure! It's a little silly, but she says "I was feeling more of the soreness now but it wasn't that bad Sort of like the day after lifting weights I'd done that with Renee during one of her Fitness obsessions 65 lunges with ten pounds in each hand I couldn't walk the next day This was not as painful as that had been by half Okay you know we have more conversations about this, he tries to wear her out and keep her entertained, she really just wants to have sex again, but he's too scared to do it

He's like, " I will not make love with you until you've been changed I will never hurt you again" She's like, hey well that's unfortunate But finally basically she like has a apparently sexy dream and wakes up in the middle of the night and gets him to sleep with her, and this time there's no bruises He's like, oh well I figured out how to channel the excesses other places

So instead of her ending up with bruises on her body we end up with chunks taken out of the headboard So um you know it's just it's like funny Again everything is like fade to black, it's just kind of like her thoughts on this new life, and like getting used to wearing lingerie and all this stuff, and like I can remember this being very like, oh is this what it's like on a honeymoon?! And how you feel? Like, like this was like a big thing um back in the day Then of course it turns out she's pregnant so they're headed back It's clear that they're scared for her, they're planning on taking care of it, whatever that means ,and she calls Rosalie to help her because she does not want to lose this baby who was growing unnaturally fast

She's only five days past her period, she's already got a noticeable baby bump, and the baby is moving For those who don't know this is very very unusual Usually don't feel any movement until you're at least like 16 weeks along in a pregnancy, and so after like a week, less than a week she is So that is where we're at Moving on to book two, which is all about Jacob so that should be interesting

And this is kind of fun I'm enjoying this, I'm liking this better than Eclipse so far but I think the thing I ended up really really hating here was the way they tied up Jacob with Renesmee the baby So that I'm not looking forward to So I was kind of dreading this but I'm actually like so far kind of enjoying this, even though it's like very silly Check in later

Good morning guys it is Sunday I'm here to give you an update I am almost halfway done with the book I ended up reading quite a lot yesterday I read a lot yesterday, which is exciting because this means that probably I'll have some time later today to work on editing this vlog

It's going faster than I expected So I slept kinda late this morning, I'm gonna do my makeup and then I think I'm gonna go have brunch and do some reading, because they're doing outdoor seating at restaurants now in New York and so I'm gonna find a nice place So this is where I am currently at This book is divided up into three parts: there's Bella, Jacob, and then the rest of the book is Bella So I'm almost done with the Jacob section, which is what I'm gonna be talking about

I'm gonna say I am definitely enjoying this book a lot more than I enjoyed Eclipse, which is surprising to me I didn't really expect that It's silly and melodramatic but more fun and seems to have less problems, although there are still some for sure So let's talk about the Jacob section I definitely also am having less tabs in this book than I had in previous ones

So early on in the Jake, Jacob part, we have this whole scene where he's hanging out with Quil who is playing on the beach with Claire, who is his, the 3 year old girl he imprinted on He's basically like a big brother having fun playing with her, and again I think this is trying to build the case for why the imprinting is not weird and it's it's totally fine and not like pedophilic and grooming Um I'm still uncomfortable with it, like I get that she put this scene in there to try to make us more comfortable with it Nope, still not comfortable with it And then he asks Quil, have you thought about dating a girl while you're kind of like waiting for her to grow up? "I haven't thought about it and I couldn't I don't think she would care

" "but you won't do it will you?" "I can't see it" he said in a low voice, "I can't imagine I just don't see anyone that way, I don't notice girls anymore you know I don't see their faces

" So the idea is that they suddenly don't notice other people as being attractive anymore, just this one person with this like obsessive thing Which again, it takes away a lot of choice on the part of the girl There's like a question I think in Eclipse of like "well doesn't she have a choice?" and like "Yeah of course but like who would say no to that level of like commitment and love? Which I don't, yeah so I'm really uncomfortable with the whole imprinting thing, but she's really trying hard to sell it here So Jacob decides when he hears the Bella is back that he is going to take off because Sam doesn't want to like kill her, that he's gonna go and take everybody on himself And his dad is like "no what are you doing?" and so he like takes the telephone cords away so that his dad can't call anybody to stop him

His dad's in a wheelchair so he's gonna have to like wheel himself down someplace else Dang okay so of course he goes and he realizes that Bella is pregnant and still human, but pregnant with something that is killing her So he finds out the Bella's pregnant she looks like she's dying because they haven't yet figured out that she needs to drink blood because the baby is half vampire And I love how it just because Carlisle is a doctor he's somehow it magically has access to like bags of blood for transfusion, so she can like have safe human blood to drink Like that's convenient

So Jake is pissed off He's like, we need to deal with this This is not okay, this is killing you And Bella sighs "I don't know Jake, but I just feel this is all going somewhere good Hard to see as it is now, I guess you could call it faith

She's like very weirdly happy every time he walks into the room The foreshadowing of Renesmee Which is a horrible name, and they have this whole thing where she's like, well I was thinking about this Renesmee And Rosalie's like "it's beautiful! I love it! and unique and individual like this little girl" Like no, it's not a beautiful name it's a terrible name, but sure

So weird Jacob goes back and now Sam is like, oh shoot we need kill Bella cuz who knows what this thing is inside of her It could be dangerous for us We need to kill her And Jacob is like not about it, and Sam tries to force him as the Alpha of the pack, but because as we learned Jacob could have been the Alpha because of his line of descent, he says no, you're not killing Bella

I'm gonna go off on my own And then a couple people join him: Sam and Leah to start, and we end up with two werewolf pack So that changes a lot of dynamics So Jacob is now his own alpha, that's interesting, we got a lot more stuff on Leah, which I had very mixed feelings about And initially he doesn't want Leah and it sucks

Everybody is so horrible to her, everybody thinks so negatively of her because she's angry and she's forced to be in this thing with Sam and Sam was kind of awful and manipulative even trying to get her back when she leaves for Jacobs pack, but eventually he's like, oh I guess she's not so bad Maybe I kind of understand her now that she's not in so much pain anymore However one thing that ends up coming up that I didn't like so much is we find out that Leah can't have babies, that becoming a wolf basically stopped her periods Early menopause basically It's got these like infertility things, between Rosalie being a vampire so she can't have babies even though she wants them, Leah wanting babies and understanding Rosalie, so I don't know that that's handled super sensitively necessarily

The other piece of this though is I don't love the fact that Leah is the first female werewolf, but to be a female werewolf, she has to have like a short masculine haircut and can't have babies So like we're just gonna take away the things that this author clearly thinks are part of womanhood because otherwise like how could you be a werewolf? The gender things here are not not great You can't have a girl not in a feminine position, unless more masculine I guess that's, that's? okay And I will say to you, at this point the wealth dynamics in this book are becoming very stark And I think that begins earlier on in the book

We have a lot of talk about all these super expensive cars that the Cullens, have and how they just have extra clothes lying around because Alce doesn't let them wear things more than once Which is why they can kindly give all these extra clothes to the werewolves who now have nothing because they've left the other pack, and there, there's such a disparity and there's such a romanticization of the like wealthy white Cullens who have pretty much anything And just the contrast is really uncomfortable Again speaking to the imprinting thing that is coming we have on page 298 this thing where Bella, maybe because she's got this baby growing at like an unusual rate inside of her, says "we got off-track Jake, out of balance You're supposed to be part of my life, I can feel that and so can you

But not like this We did something wrong, no I did I did something wrong and we got off-track It's like she's like, I know you're supposed to be part of my family! And I love you, but I did something wrong and it's not like this It's like oh the baby! It all makes sense! I hate that so much

Like I hate, I hate the whole Renesmee plot arc Not so much for having a baby, like that I think it's kind of interesting, but the imprinting thing is weird And honestly to I wish they had just made her a slightly more normal baby Like that's also strange that she is never really a normal child You get to this thing where Edward can hear her, even still while Bella's pregnant, start hearing her thoughts, and she's like got sophisticated patterns of thought and I don't know, I just think this goes in such a weird direction with the whole, with that that whole plot line

That is where I'm at There is very little of the Jacob section left This is what's left in the Jacob section that's like two chapters, and I think basically this is Bella giving birth and then him seeing Renesmee for the first time and then we cut to Bella and that's when we find out, oh my god! They imprinted! Overall thoughts: I'm enjoying this a lot better than Eclipse Like it's very silly, very melodramatic, but more fun and has fewer problematic things But I really really hate the whole Renesmee thing

I hate the name, I hate the way that they do the imprinting, and her over development as a baby, like I really just don't like that plotline at all, which i think is what I remembered the most about reading this the first time I expected this to be my least favorite book in the series and I don't think it is I think Eclipse is probably gonna be my least favorite book in the series I'm gonna put on a little bit of makeup, probably go out and have a nice brunch and do some more reading and I will definitely be finishing this I have a little over 400 pages left in the book which should not be a problem and then I can do some editing and hopefully get this up for you guys next week

*music* I ordered some brunch, I'm waiting for it to come I'm really excited, this is nice I hadn't, haven't done this since they opened outdoor seating here so this will be fun Listened to the audiobook and the birth scene is pretty horrific I had forgotten how like gross and bloody it is

I mean it's just one chapter but like, way to make people never want it's the child It's really intense And then of course we get the imprinting thing happening and now we're back to Bella so that's kind of where I'm at like it's like a horror novel all of a sudden for this one bloody chapter and I don't know why she chose to do it that way It's kind of gross and it's pretty intense for a YA book, but I don't know Like is the intention to put people off having babies before they're ready? I don't know hey guys

so um I have been out most of the day which was really nice I haven't done that in a while Excuse the screaming child in the background if you can hear, but I had a really nice brunch that was delicious and just kind of relaxing Um kind of took a day to myself which was nice while I was listening to the audiobook So I listened to a lot of the audiobook, went to Barnes & Noble, picked up a couple of books for my son, ran some other errands and did a lot of walking, and basically got through a huge chunk of the book So all of this that doesn't have tabs this is where I'm at

I don't really have any tabs for a lot of the book because I was listening to the audiobook while I was walking around I have a little over a hundred and fifty pages left in the book at this point, so um let's just kind of do an overview of what's happened Basically I would say this book is longer than it needs to be, but also I'm enjoying it a lot more than I thought I was going to There's a lot more plot here and it's It's pretty interesting Aside from the weirdness with Renesmee it's actually like pretty interesting plot

We get the Volturi coming back into the picture because somebody accidentally sees Renesmee and thinks that she's one of these super dangerous vampire children and who was made into a vampire from human, and doesn't know what she really is and goes and tells the Volturi So now Alice with her visions of the future has seen that they're all gonna come and kill everybody, because this is of the like big laws you don't break, so the Cullens are working to gather as many people as witnesses as they can to get the Volturi to stop and wait and recognize that Renesmee is not what they think she is We also have the whole thing of Bella waking up as a new vampire, and I really enjoyed that part I think it's interesting, this kind of imagining what it would be like learning to cope with these new hyperaware senses where you can move faster and see better and smell more, and like the overwhelmingness of it Of course because Bella is a special snowflake she is able to act as if she's been a vampire for like a decade and resists all the things that newborn vampires usually can't, because of course that was what was gonna happen

And she is pissed off at Jacob when she first finds out that he imprinted on Renesmee Eventually they kind of get over it but that scene is pretty funny What's funny is what she's more mad about is that he gave her the nickname Nessie like the Loch Ness monster, and that's what makes her kind of like lose her temper So that was kind of entertaining I think this was a lot of just like dramatic, silly, entertaining stuff

I think probably what I hated the most about it the first time around was that I was so invested in wanting Bella and Jacob to be end game, and that I really really hated the whole thing of him connecting to a baby Which I still hate, but my feelings are a less visceral about it this time around, probably because I kind of knew what I was getting into going in So um surprisingly this one might end up staying the same stars I guess we'll see I've got about 150 pages left, the Volturi are on their way

This is when everything kind of comes to a head and wraps up I do think that everything wraps up a little too neatly in this book in general, but you know it's like it's, this is more enjoyable I'm definitely enjoying this probably the most of any of the books in the series Which is funny because it was my least favorite to begin with It's just interesting how things change

Alright so I'm trying to think if there's like anything else that I really that really like stood out to me Mostly just that the imprinting thing is creepy, the way that they did the birthing scene was a choice, it's like a horror novel that's pretty gross and disturbing more than anything else Um but beyond that it's just been like silly kind of fun, which was not what I expected so Oh other interesting thing is it turns out the Alaska family of vampires, at least some of them, are Latinx They speak Spanish which is interesting

I didn't realize that so that's kind of cool I saw somebody say they wish they had a story about them Oh hello, do you want to come say hi on video? Yeah yeah are you getting ready? "Yeah we're gettin" Where are you going? "We going to a water park!" To a park? "Hi!" "Now Conrad's here too" Conra's here too What are you guys eating? "We eating goldfish" Goldfish? " yeah, yeah cuz our body need some goldfish" Your bodies need goldfish? "Yeah" Can't see it

If you go like that they can see the goldfish "Mom, can you see the goldfish?" Uh yeah in the video *kiss* Love you "Momma" *kiss* All right well have fun at the park guys with Daddy

"Bye" Bye, say bye! "okay but how we will, why we always not push the button?" Mmmm because I have to push the button because I am talking to the camera "But what's this for?" That's a microphone Don't hit it it'll make weird noises "hmm" Yeah

"How do I talk in this?" You just talk "hi!" no don't " Does it make loud noises?" um well it it records it on, it records the noises on the video for later "Hello!" Too, that's gonna be too loud Alright *kiss* okay no messing with the microphone Bye guys, love you

See ya later They're hanging out with dad this weekend, they're about to go to a park with like sprinklers and stuff So um I am going to finish reading Breaking Dawn It is almost four o'clock in the afternoon This has only taken so long because I was expecting to read more of it physically instead of listen to so much of the audiobook

So now I'm gonna go back to reading it physically, probably gonna make a little coffee or tea or something and enjoy that while I finish off the rest of this, and then I will be back with my final thoughts Hey guys I did it! I read both these books in one weekend So let's talk about this I finished up Breaking Dawn How do I feel about this? So I have to say I am surprised to find that I maybe enjoyed this more than most of the other books in the series ,even though this was probably my least favorite book the first time around

This was this was definitely different It was more enjoyable However I think the trouble is is that even though this one is more interesting and like melodramatic sort of fun, it is predicated on everything that came before it So it's building on these relationships that have really toxic elements to them, it's building on this foundation of kind of racist and white supremacist ideas, and you do see more of those in this book as well, so when I think about how to rate it it's tricky I'm somewhere between like a 2 & a half & 3 star

It was definitely more enjoyable and that was a pleasant surprise in some ways, but it still has its problems so let's talk about some of the tabs I have I do have some tabs for the last portion of it Let's go ahead and talk about some of what I've got They start gathering together vampires as witnesses because they know that the Volturi are gonna come and they need to prove that Renesmee isn't actually one of these like children who are illegal to have, so we start seeing all of these groups of vampires coming from all over the world Which in one sense is pretty cool and interesting and i want to know more about all of them

I mean honestly I'm like interested in like well who are all these other vampire families and what are their stories? And we never learn that much about them, they're just kind of all thrown in And again you know like stuff that's just irritating We get the group of Egyptian vampires who come and it says on page 609 "but the Egyptians all looked so alike with their midnight hair and olive toned pallor that they easily could have passed for a biological family" Which I mean to me reads like "oh you people of color all look alike You Black people all look alike, you Asian people all look alike

" Like that's kind of how it reads to me, which I'm like mmm okay But you know, I mean I would go along with the other stuff we've had in here And then I got to say, the stuff with Jacob and Renesmee in this last part of the book is super disturbing I think I had forgotten the places where it gets really creepy and I think that's a few of the tabs that I have so the first thing I'm gonna mention is, there's like a few things that are gross and I think these are the last things that I'm really gonna talk about here On page 653 for Christmas Jacob gives Renesmee a braided bracelet that is the Quileute version of a promise ring

uh gross I'm just, I'm not, it's it's disturbing and it says "Edward gritted his teeth over that one, but it didn't bother me Soon, so soon I would be giving her to Jacob for safekeeping How could I be bothered by any symbol of the commitment I was so relying on? I'm like oh, you could be bothered by it because she's a young child! I just, I don't know what the author was thinking with the way that all of that was handled And then added to that we find out in the end, you know there's the big confrontation that we think it's gonna be a battle, and it ends up not actually being a battle I think in the movies, they made in a battle to make it more like exciting, but in the movie in the movies like

I can't even remember it's been awhile since I've seen the movies guys, but but the big confrontation with the Volturi and everything and the sort of saving grace is Alice brings back this man from South America who is half vampire half human like Renesmee To prove that like, they can grow up and be safe and whatever And so there's this really creepy thing where they're interviewing this guy and he's a hundred and fifty years old, but he looks young and he, they say "and you reached maturity at what age?" "About seven years after my birth more or less

I was fully grown" "You have not changed since then?" Nahuel shrugged, "Not that I've noticed" I felt a shudder tremble through Jacobs body I didn't want to think about this yet I could wait till the danger was past and I could concentrate

" So clearly there's something to that Clearly it's like, oh in just six and a half more years, a little more she's gonna be physically an adult, and then you can get it on It's gonna be fine It's not, it's really not The grooming, waiting for her to grow up, like eww that's pretty gross I kind of think that part of it might be enough for meu to want to push this down to a two and a half star rating even though yeah, I probably that's what I'm gonna do Is push it down to two and a half stars It was originally three and I was thinking of leaving it at three, but then I think with some of this stuff near the end of it with Jacob and Renesmee, ah it's really gross One other thing I will bring up is when the guy from South America is telling his story, or rather actually his aunt tells the story on page 735 they talk about the mother of Nahuel and she says "my sister was Piree

our parents named her after the snow on the mountains because of her fair skin and she was very beautiful, too beautiful And so ends up having a physical relationship with a vampire and dies in childbirth Again we have fair skin being equated to beauty Which is a thing that we have seen over and over and over again in this series Like the colorism is real

So that is Breaking Dawn Yeah this was definitely more enjoyable to read It was definitely like one of the most enjoyable in the series, like probably uh you know what I'm gonna say this: Breaking Dawn was the most enjoyable book in the series to reread It still has so many problems, but So this has been a very interesting project

next up is going to be midnight Sun so when that comes out in August I will be reading it, I will be vlogging it You'll be getting a live show and I will leave a link down below to the live show discussing Eclipse and New Moon If you didn't see our first live show me and four other friends kind of critically analyzed and discussed it we're gonna be doing the same with these books soon so that information is down below if you guys want to join us I guess that is it Talk to me in the comments down below, let me know any of your thoughts or feelings

Have you done this reread or read them for the first time how did you feel about Eclipse and Breaking Dawn? I didn't expect to hate Eclipse as much as I did and I didn't expect you enjoy Breaking Dawn as much So this was definitely different from what I thought it was gonna be Talk to me in the comments down below if you guys liked this video give it a thumbs up, subscribe if you want to see more, thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next time

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