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Peyton Manning's worst game was a record-breaking nightmare that cost the Texans millions

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– Peyton Manning played a lot of football and, if I'm being honest, he wasn't half bad He earned four MVP awards as a Colt then, after a year missed because of neck surgeries, Manning won a fifth as a Bronco

Add a couple Super Bowls, a handful of records, one of the greatest SNL sketches of all time, and it was a pretty good career That's why it's with so much pleasure that today we get to dig up a game so terrible, so hysterically inept that, even as Peyton set new NFL records, when they burned the film from the game it smelled like Big Foot's dick This is the worst Peyton Manning performance November 15th, 2015 in Denver, Colorado at a stadium whose naming rights belonged to a company less than five months away from filing for bankruptcy The seven-and-one Broncos were hosting the three-and-five Kansas City Chiefs

It was a divisional rematch from week two, so we'd already seen the nearly 40-year-old Peyton attack this defense for 250 and three scores Proof that in a season many believed would be his last, Manning was still capable of looking like his old self The problem was, this year he more often just looked old I mean, heading into week 10 he had a worse passer rating on the season than what Brandon Weeden managed in his four games as a Cowboy And he got benched for Matt Cassel

So, not great But one thing Peyton had working for him was the Broncos' defense They had more than stepped up to keep Denver near the top of the league with eight games to go And even if this wasn't the best Manning had looked in his career, he was still on track to pick up a pair of records First, he was just three yards away from passing Brett Favre for most passing yards in a career

And second, with one win, he would also pass Favre for most career, regular season wins The latter he had just missed out on in week nine, when Peyton returned to Indianapolis but fell short Still, there was half a season left, so plenty of chances for the future Hall of Famer to notch one more win And his next crack came at home against a team he had already beaten that year Easy

It didn't matter that a sore foot and ribs had kept him from practicing the full week, Manning was ready to give the home crowd reason to cheer I mean, look at him That enthusiasm, that energy, that beautiful smile or whatever Denver got the ball to start, so Manning immediately got his chance to make history And after handing off to Ronnie Hillman twice, Peyton bought time and just launched one, Ggoing for the record in style and, okay, let's pause it

So right here is a pretty good time to let you know that this is going to get real bad Like, see this frame? This turned into one of the less egregious of his interceptions So if you like good football, avert your eyes Okay Jiazhen, can you rewind a little and we can see this car crash in full? Nice, thanks – Omaha, hut! – [Announcer] Manning going deep and is intercepted mid-field! – Peyton, you have a literal passing academy, come on! He entered the game leading the league in interceptions so maybe this was all just a ploy to also earn the career record in that category as well

After the Chiefs' offense turned the pick into a touchdown, Manning's second drop back of the game resulted in a sack/fumble But Denver managed to fall on it, which led to the inevitable history But even that felt like a flop Needing three yards, Peyton found Hillman who picked up four He's done it, with room to spare

Now watch as Manning tried to just keep things going and, ah man, those bastards had to stop the game and honor him Everybody cheered He waved Threw his best pass of the day over to the sideline to begin the ball's march to Canton and, these guys definitely mixed up which is which, didn't they? Y'all had one job But I guess, so did Peyton and he forgot how to do it, so

Time for rapid fire near misses His next pass was high and behind Emmanuel Sanders and nearly led to his second interception After a bubble screen gained one yard, Manning forced his receiver to become the defender and break up another potential pick

Then, with confidence already waning, once the Broncos got the ball back he threw what looked like an interception in real time, but was a great snag by Demaryius Thomas to give Denver their first first down of the game That was followed up by an eight-yard gain from Virgil Green, which made it almost feel like the offense was finding a rhythm But this is the Worst, so his next pass 100% should have been picked by Marcus Peters Because Manning's a good sport he knew KC deserved to have the ball, so he gave it to them one down later Sure, this one's more on Sanders getting tangled up with Sean Smith, but sometimes it be like that

When Denver got the ball next, now down 13 nothing, Manning showed his wisdom by just hitting the turf to avoid a more punishing sack and gave a portrait-worthy pose I'm choosing to gloss over two incompletions to get to one more dogshit interception Manning never saw Josh Mauga drop back into coverage and seemed to short circuit Watch Peyton up here just spin around and run in the wrong direction Like he witnessed his own complacency and looked for the nearest place to go hide

But you can't hide from this stink, Peyton He wouldn't complete another pass in the first half and even his own team looked to prevent further calamity when a Denver offensive lineman tried to sack him Halftime momentarily provided mercy and gave us time to double check how he did Oh god, my abacus is on fire He only got another six snaps, completed one pass for five yards, and finished his day with this arm punt to Ron Parker

Disaster complete Peyton had led Denver's offense to three first downs, two of which thanks to the legs of Hillman, five three-and-outs, plus four interceptions Those nine drives combined for 49 total yards of offense and a perfect 00 passer rating The only time that happened in Manning's career

Even the time that he threw six interceptions, he managed to do enough to put the Colts in position to almost win the game had it not been for Adam Vinatieri missing a chip-shot field goal If you're wondering about if he ever threw for less yardage, there were just two other times in his career where he did worse Both came in week 17 games where he only threw the ball twice And in most of those week 17, "don't need 60 minutes of Peyton games," he at least moved the ball somewhat when he was throwing it If you're really into numbers, let me introduce you to the most damning one: adjusted yards gained per pass attempt

This is a calculation of yards mixed with touchdowns and interceptions, which generally seems like it was just built for the sake of quantifying negativity If you look at some of the worst quarterback performances, you have to scroll a while before you find Peyton That's because looking at every post-merger game where someone threw at least 20 passes, there has never been anyone to finish worse than Manning did against the Chiefs Joe Namath shares the spot with him thanks to an impressive six-interception performance, but that duo stands alone deep at the bottom of a pit But this game isn't the worst just because he did football bad

It had a larger impact that we only recently overcame It was bigger than just Peyton Like, literally This blurred monster was allowed to become a thing Schlock Frostweiler, the seven-foot "Twilight" looking backup took over

While they still lost, he got the start a week later due to Manning's foot getting worse And Schlossweiler continued to steer the ship even after Peyton got healthy Manning eventually took over for a struggling Cake Bossweiler in week 17 and led a comeback victory that earned the Broncos the AFC's number one seed in the playoffs He then led them through the playoffs, he beat the Panthers for another Super Bowl win, got to go out on top, blah blah blah, back to the worst part This lanky son of a bitch was a free agent and had done enough to make the Texans believe he was worth a massive contract

One season in Houston proved that to be a mistake So much so that the Texans had to pull off one of the most bizarre, but pretty brilliant, trades in recent history with the Browns This two-story-tall black spot on the league wouldn't have been possible without Peyton making a mess against the Chiefs that November day Or it would have come like a week later because Manning was pretty shitty that year While this day was by far the worst, it was the low point of a low regular season

Peyton finished just one shy of the league lead for interceptions And Bortles made his mess over a full 16 games like a respectable idiot Then again, that's just proof that even when Manning decided to stink it up, he did it at a Hall of Fame level He managed to play so poorly that it made the efforts of a Robert Pattinson impersonator look somewhat competent It's quite the achievement really

In a single afternoon he set an NFL record for career yardage, played poorly enough to get benched, provided a springboard for mediocrity to get paid at an elite level, and then down the road swooped back in to win it all Peyton Manning, the best at being the worst So Peyton managed to go out on top, but not everyone has been as lucky Dan Marino, for instance He got benched in his final game, which came during the playoffs

And I deem that episode a must watch Or check out this other one, I don't know, it's your time, do whatever you want Subscribe to SB Nation, hit the bell for notifications, and we'll see you soon

Source: Youtube

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