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This is Kurt Caldwell with NYCTV Local News If drowning in quicksand, withstand, expand ampersand where a sweatband! Just in, cyberbullying is on the rise even after First Lady Melania Trump attempts to make Be Best happen

Here with us today is Jeremy, a kid who has learned a thing or two about this initiative Jeremy thanks for joining us Tell me, how does one Be Best? Hi Kurt, so Be Best in not about being the best, just um Be Best That much is clear Many English language experts and even those with a second grade education would say that Be Best is, grammatically, a catastrophe And unless you're trying to say Be Good or Be Better, well frankly, it doesn't make any sense to me at all Sure uh, Kurt I'll explain in lame man terms, so Be Best, well Be THE Best would imply that only one person holds the title of Be Best But we're not looking for just one person

We're looking for an even playing field where everyone is Be Bestin in the same way Sounds kind of like Socialism Definitely not Kurt I'm a capitalist so survival of the fittest, the strong will take over the weak at any cost to human beings, animals and the environment You know, cut all corners and none shall survive

so How nice Now can you tell me more about the other initiatives under Be Best? And that's as far as I read cause well it's just hard enough as it is trying to Be Best all the time Of course it does Now could you tell everyone at home how you might Be Best on any typical day? Yeah first of i'll say, well crap, Middle School's hard Have you experienced bullying? Yeah but Kurt, I keep looking at myself in the mirror and I'm like, lookin' at myself and sayin' "Hey Jeremy! Look at yourself! You think that kid lookin' back at you is what a loser looks like?" And then I kiss myself

Self-love has its place and time But I'll be so so so Gad Darn honest with you right now All this positive attention warrants a little bullying now and then

And well this one kid really test me real good last week His name is Devon and he wouldn't give me his lunch money, ugh ruuuuuuude I can tell this is going to be a traumatizing story

Thanks but don't worry about me cause I decided to Be Best and take Melania's mediocre road! That's inspiring Yeah, the universal will repay him He's dooomed

Slightly less inspiring That's right Devon, you're gonna be sitting in chemistry class mixing this and that when suddenly you've gotta poop, "OH NO!" But the Hall Pass, "Where is it?" Brenda has it! Cause only one Hall Pass per class So here you are with no hope But HEY! You remember that ziplock bag your mom put that soggy peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches in? Well you can grab that And then take that poop nugget that's inside of your leg

And let it go down your pant leg and then just let it go scoopin' right into that ziploc bag for safekeeping Until you dispose of it later Only now you've forgotten about that crap filled baggy

Moments later, your crush asks you to borrow a spare pencil And yeah, instead of handing them a spare number two You hand 'em

YOUR NUMBER TWO POO!!! YOU GET SENT TO THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE AND YOU'RE SUSPENDED!!! The universe you're describing is quite a vengeful place In conclusion, Devin not giving me his lunch money, whatever! Cause well I know how to Be Best! Okay and before we take a break is there anything else we should know? Uh yeah um, my favorite bible verse is Jesus Wept" because guys cry too! What a unique thought

What we've learned, if being burned causes concern, hell returned Let's reaffirm that with great concern from Be Best one might discern no one has earned And on that topic let's never adjourn I'm Kurt Caldwell, more to come after this

Source: Youtube

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