– So, listen We've been together for a while now, but I don't think it's working
– What? – I'm sorry, Snapchat I think we should break up – You're a pig Who is she? – Oh, who says there's anyone else? – I know you, you hop from app to app and then you get bored and it gets old What am I, old now? – No
– Is that it? You found some hot young thing to replace me like I replaced Twitter? – No! Yes, I Her name is TikTok, but that is not why – How old is she? – I don't think that matters
– How old? – Three – Unbelievable! – Don't put this all on me You've changed You used to be fun and flirty Nudes! Nudes for days
– Is that what you want? I want a long term relationship – Why? So we can wind up stuck together and miserable like Janie and Facebook? – I got a new kind of money! – Shut up, I hate you! I should've left you years ago! – Oh, you'll never leave me! – You're scum! – You'll never leave 'cause you're a coward! – See? – You're just afraid of commitment – I just want things to be how they were Every conversation we had was just mindless and, you had a filter that made my face look like a dog Now you just take up so much space
You are obsessed with brands You use up all my hard earned data – I need it for my original programming! – I didn't ask for that Nobody asked for that – You don't understand me
– I don't You are aggressively hard to understand (inaudible words) – Hey, babe, give me a second – Okay (blowing kisses) – Okay, you know what? Go have your fun
And you, you better watch out 'Cause three or four years down the road, he'll get bored of you too, okay? And this jerk will find some new app to use and discard I already made my mistakes, but you don't have to Get out while you still can! – I'm sorry, who are you? Snoop choot? Could you just leave us alone, okay, me and Grant are in love Goodbye! – That's right babe, ready to go? – Yeah, you know I've been thinking about opening up my own little store, a TikTok marketplace, what do you think?