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Breaking the Rules | The Marian Consort

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Music… While there is music, I am cushioned safe within my mother’s womb… My singers realise the sounds that flow through my veins – so that my music is everywhere – in my mind and body but also all around me Sometimes, I cannot tell which music is which – which is the music I hear outside my body, soaring up through my chapel, and which is the music inside my head, pounding in my blood, struggling out through my pores… My Moro Lasso

A madrigal which could only ever have been crafted by me It speaks of my true nature My torment transfigured into sound! I must hear music every day And every day, one of my servants whips me, in accordance with my physician’s instructions Maria d'Avalos, the great beauty, whose insatiable appetites had exhausted her two previous husbands

While her first husband reportedly died of an excess of cannubial bliss By rights, my brother Luigi should have been the Gesualdo bridegroom But his unexpected death when I was eighteen changed everything Since my seventh year the Jesuits had been chiselling me out for a life in the priesthood Then suddenly Luigi is dead and I am called home I was thrust into a world where, overnight, I am responsible for fathering the next generation of the Gesualdo clan

I am nervous in the days leading up to the wedding I overhear the servants gossiping about the wedding night: “Oh he won't know what to do He’s been brought up by Jesuits With a woman like that, he won’t last five seconds” So of course when the wedding night came… I had drunk too much

Well, wouldn’t you under the circumstances? I stop outside her door to catch my breath, to steady myself against the jarring unreality of the festivities and feasting below me I fumble with the latch, and then I am inside It is dark but for the light of a single candle Maria is on the bed, naked Her glistening eyes a world of primal desire

And then I am on her, pinning her down, kissing her, everywhere Well, that’s what I’d do now Back then I was frozen She saw right through me, to the heart of my innocence… and my fear And she laughed… At me… And with that laugh there was no going back

What happened that night can’t be undone There, the first seeds were sown Seeds which grew into the monstrous choking weed of my cuckolding – blossomed into that other night – that night of blood… “I am counted with those that go down into the pit…” “Thou has laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deep…” I locked the drawer to that night Threw the key into the ocean, where it lay buried beneath the ocean floor I populated the sea with sharks

And I waited for God to strike me down Nothing So I tested him A double murder not enough? I will push my luck, I will consort with witches, I will bully Leonora, I will commit adultery again and again Nothing

You stacked the cards against me! My mother’s death, my childhood with the Jesuits, Luigi’s death, my first night with Maria, everything… everything led inexorably towards this inevitable conclusion Still nothing Miserere mei

Source: Youtube

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