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7 Signs Your Ex Didn't Want To Break Up with You


In this video, we're going to be discussing seven signs that your ex didn't want to break up with you, but felt that they needed to for one reason or other Now stick around to the end because some of these signs are going to be a little bit strange

But stick with me, because I promise this will all make sense by the time we get to the end of this But first, my name is Clay with modernlovelife, where we help you get the great loving relationship that you are looking for If you like this video at any time, just do me a favor and give this video a thumbs up And if you're new here, consider subscribing while you're down there

Okay, so let's go ahead and get into this So the first sign that your ex did not want to break up with you is if they treated you actually pretty fairly and reasonably after the breakup and during the breakup We've talked about this before in other videos, but your ex needs to create an image of you in their mind to justify why they broke up with you And many times, they'll distort the truth and create a negative image of you, in order to really tell themselves and convince themselves that they made the right choice in breaking up with you So if you're finding your ex isn't really doing a whole lot of that, then it means that they really didn't want to break up with you and that they're still holding on to a reasonably accurate, or a positive, even, image of you in their mind

And so that's definitely one of the signs The second sign is if after the breakup your ex is still holding onto positive memories They can still admit that, yeah, there were some positive aspects of our time together We enjoyed doing certain things We had a lot of fun

We spent a lot of great time together Again, if they're not distorting the past and saying, "Oh, it was terrible the whole time," or, "Our entire relationship was nothing but a train wreck," when, really, you can probably tell that they probably wouldn't have stayed in an awful relationship for maybe as long as they did if it was all that bad But if there's not so much of that distortion going on, and they're willing to admit that yes, there were some positive times together, then ye ah, that's a sign that your ex didn't want to break up with you Number three is if your ex was under a lot of stress or pressure in certain areas of their life that maybe had absolutely nothing to do with your breakup Oftentimes people who are under a lot of stress or pressure, or just are dissatisfied with certain areas of their life, they may try to take control or believe that they're taking control of their life by influencing other aspects of their life that they think that they have greater influence of, for example, their relationship

Just to make this point a little bit more concrete I have a friend who many, many years ago, back when I was just getting started with all this relationship advice stuff Him and his girlfriend actually broke up And if you look at what happened in the couple of months before that, my friend, he had recently turned 30 years old And if you're not there yet, if you're in your 20s or something, you may not realize this, but there's kind of this thing that kicks in when you hit a birthday with a zero in it

You look back at the past decade, and you check in with yourself and say, "Hey, am I where I want to be in my life?" If so, great If not, then maybe it's time to feel bad about yourself That's probably not the best way of dealing with it But that's where my friend was at at the time He was not in shape the way that he wanted to be

He was starting to get some health issues as the result of that Additionally, his career was not going the way that he wanted it to He was in a job that he hated And he wanted to do music He was an aspiring musician, and his music wasn't really taking off the way that he wanted it to

Some other musicians he was trying to collaborate with were not responding to him in the way that he was hoping that they would And so he was hitting a lot of roadblocks in that regard as well, too And so he was just really frustrated with where he was at in life And he didn't feel like he was in control of where things were going to go and his influence and impact that he was able to have And so what he did, what I believe he did, was that he chose to break up with his girlfriend in order to feel a sense of control in an otherwise out of control life

And just so you know, they worked through that They got back together They're happily married now But just that's a thing that happened with him And that's a thing that I've seen happen in other people's relationships as well over the years

The fourth sign that your ex didn't want to break up is that they actually made repair attempts during your time together, especially near the end of your relationship And what a repair attempt is, is there are certain interactions that you have that do damage to the quality of the connection that you and your partner have Maybe that's an argument Maybe somebody wasn't being totally h onest about something Maybe somebody betrayed someone's trust in some way

Maybe somebody didn't do what they said they were going to do, or whatever And if there were things like that that happened, but your partner tried to fix things and tried to repair things, by either trying to make up with you, by trying to get the two of you on good terms, by trying to create a more positive vibe or dynamic between the two of you, then that shows that they were invested in the relationship near the end They were trying to make things work Maybe they weren't able to do so, but at that point at least they were trying to, and that breaking up was probably not initially what they wanted to do That is number four

Sign number five that your ex did not want to break up is that they encouraged you to actually go out and do certain things Now, a totally obvious example of this would be, "Okay, hey, we're having some problems in our relationship Maybe we should go to counseling Maybe you should go see a therapist to deal with some depression that you're going through," or something like that That's a really obvious version of that

There are also much more subtle versions of that like, "Oh hey, it seems like you're dissatisfied with something in your life right now Maybe you should go join that soccer team that you were thinking of joining a few weeks ago That little local soccer club," or something like that Or, "Maybe you should take a little bit more time for yourself to relax It seems like you're really stressed out

" Or, "I know that you've been feeling a lot of stress Maybe you should go work some of that out at the gym," or whatever it might be If they're encouraging you to do certain things, it shows that they're interested and invested in the quality of your life and the quality of your experience And at least at the time that they're doing that, they're actually definitely invested in the relationship And they didn't want that relationship to end

Sign number six is that they talked about specific problems in your relationship That is to say, near the end of the relationship, maybe as things started to get bad, they would bring up specific problems They weren't just like, the two of you have an argument or disagreement, they just disengage and walk away But they're willing to bring up specific things like, "Oh hey, it seems like we're always having this issue where we fight about whatever it is, money or housework," or whatever, and they just bring it up And it shows that they're willing to talk about specific things

They're trying to introduce the conversation topic of these specific things that they believe might be causing damage to your relationship And this shows that they didn't really want to break up with you initially And it shows that at least at that point, they were still invested in their relationship They were still trying to find ways to work cooperatively with you to make things work out in the long run Definitely a sign that your ex did not want to break up

Now before we go ahead and get into sign number seven, do me a favor If you're liking this video, give it a thumbs up While you're down there, subscribe to the channel as well, too And with that being said, let's go ahead and get into sign number seven that your ex did not want to break up And this one's going to seem a little bit strange

Bear with me But the sign is that there was actually an increase in the amount of conflict or arguments or disagreements that the two of you were having, followed by a sharp disengagement afterwards Okay So we've already kind of talked about bringing up specific things, right? Arguments, things like that So if that happened, but then after a period of time, maybe the arguments went on for a few weeks or a month or something like that, and then suddenly your ex just shut down

They started pulling away, they started to disengage and they just stopped trying That shows that there was a point in time when they were fighting for the relationship, when they were trying to make it work, when they did not want to break up with you But then things hit a tipping point when there were just more negative interactions than positive interactions, and they just disengaged They just gave up Initially, it comes across like them not wanting to directly address the relationship

In most cases they just hope it gets better on its own They're just tired of the same old conflicts, fights, whatever And so they're just not willing to go there, and they're hoping that things get better on their own But what's really happening is they're actually turning away from you, and turning away from the relationship And of course over time, that's going to lead in a very negative place

And so that's a sign that at least initially they wanted to work things out, but then they just sort of slowly started to give up more and more and more Until eventually it reached a point where they felt they needed to walk away from the relationship, either for their wellbeing or because the two of you were just incompatible in their opinion, or due to any other issues that were just present between the two of you So anyway, those are the seven signs that your ex did not want to break up with you Once again, if you like this channel, give it a thumbs up And subscribe to the channel if you're not already subscribed

In the meantime, though, you may also be interested in checking out this playlist over here about different signs that your ex wants you back Or you may also be interested in checking out this video over here Anyway, this has been Clay Take care and I'll talk to you next time

Source: Youtube

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